Selling Your Second Impression.
For those that are in a sales position that look like a movie star and own a superb first impression this article is not for you. For the other 99 percent, well, please read on.
First impressions can be critical but not any more than a second impression. You see I have learned, and practice, the art of second impression. I know that as I meet someone for the first time they have analyzed and summed me up as lacking. It’s just how we’re wired and it starts at birth. According to researchers at the University of Texas, babies like pretty faces better than plain ones. As we grow older this doesn’t change. Advertising has beautiful people peddling wares… on purpose. We all like pretty faces. So… how in the world can the rest of us compete? It’s by achieving a great second impression. Let me share.
Stage One – Interesting and Useful
It started around 5th grade. That’s when I found out I had a debilitating muscle-skin disease. Brain was going to have to win over brawn and I learned my first lesson or first stage of second impression. I would focus on learning. In other words I would develop some depth to my personality. I would become interesting and useful.
Stage Two – A Great Listener and Presenter
As I hit the dating age I decided that to attract a desirable female I needed “skills”. Dale Carnegie came to the rescue with his book – How to Win Friends & Influence People. This was one of the most influential books in developing my life and later sales skills. It was also where I developed the second stage. I learned that people really like to talk about themselves. A very useful tool. You see in listening I could gather intelligent data that I could respond (present) with interesting and useful information. I would go instantly from frumpy guy to “Wow, I like and need this person” and my second impression was achieved!
By obtaining these stages you can achieve creativity, confidence, caring, and purpose among others. Traits that I believe everyone wants in some form or another. Traits that can make you highly successful no matter what your first impression is!
“Don’t be over self-confident with your first impressions of people.” -Chinese Proverb
I continually work on my second impression. For example, now as I get older I realize that I have my work cut out to relate with the younger potential clients. I’m now faced with a first impression of “looks like my dad”. The good news is that by my having a powerful second impression (interesting, useful, and listening) and through a presentation of “doesn’t sound like my dad” I have overcome this impression typically.
While having “pearly whites and perfect hair” does give you a great first impression… I have found that a confident second impression is even more important. Dress sharp, look your best, is always important and I am not belittling that here. Education, self taught or scholastically, is as critical. Listening and understanding are also key elements. Putting these together with a confident presentation and you will be in command and achieve second impression success regardless of what your first impression is.
Fantastic article! I enjoy when I get read something that has great stuff packed in, is written with some entertainment value, and knows when to stop!
I am not in sales, but I find real value in what you shared just for being “a people”.
Hi Chris,
Your insights and perspective are once again very helpful and appreciated.
Thank you!
David
Chris: Good stuff! Listening is very much a lost art. Ever see it on your average job description? It’s never been on one of mine. I often get told about being very, very good at listening to what is NOT being said. I’ve learned that, in some situations, it can be more critical to understanding and be more revealing than the yakyak that is being said. I have noticed that while listening with a discerning ear, I do often miss the direct messages and sometimes have to ask for a repeat which, to some, means the very opposite: “Why weren’t you listening the first time?” As a photographer, I have learned to “listen” with my eyes, another attribute that is very helpful in direct conversations.
As to second sales impressions, “the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
And read this book, makes you see things in a different light when it comes to business planning. http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Plan-Breaking-Throu… We should do the same with people. Not a one of us junk. We just need lots polishing like diamonds in the rough. 🙂
What you have written is so true. If all of the entrepreneurs had gone home after their “first impression” of their work they would have never been successful. The second, third, fourth and so on impression should confirm the first impression. Besides, who hasn’t had a bad hair day except us baldies. We have them all the time. 🙂
Good job, Chris.
Kevin… Great example and take on the article. Thanks for the kind words.
What a terrific article! I will enjoy reading more, Chris, about the art of second impressions!! Brilliant!!
Thanks Tamara for the kind words.